Rough day...

Well, Today was a rough day. I could not get it together, and could not fight the tears. I actually have a lot of days like these. Not sure why really sometimes I think it is that part of me that longs for the "normal"/ "easy" life. Maybe it is because Aiden's abscess is back with a vengeance...or because I cannot seem to memorize the book of Philippians ( a team goal) But then I remember what life was like in the USA and quickly remember it is not that "easy" there either. It is however convenient!! Not having a car has become the thorn in my side. Everything is harder without one...everything!! I long for God to provide in this way, and desperately would like to drive myself to the grocery store. Or to not have to pay 25.00 to get a TAXI home from a late night meeting with Italians!! It all adds up, and what it is adding up to for me is imprisonment...I feel cut off at the knees with so many places to go and no one to take me there...not to mention personal opportunities that are lost, because I simply cannot take the transportation to one place or another. 

I often wonder what would a pastor do if suddenly he was sent to a new church and told, "oh yes, and that car of yours, you don't get to keep that, leave it here, and get around the city and minister to the 900,000 people you are trying to reach by using the BUS, oh and wait did we tell you about your pay cut!!!!" 

But now really, Natalie, remember you signed up for this!! And you are called to a life of less...every missionary is!! SAYS WHO I ASK..... WHO!!!?????????????????????Really the evangelical church has told us that that is what is natural for the missionary, it is like it is EXPECTED....MISSIONARY=POOR!!!

While the church builds bigger buildings and bigger programs, I sit and wait for a car, just something small, just so I can grocery shop...just something!!!(maybe i should take that comment out) 

 There I got that off my chest...

So I wait.....continue to wait on the Lord, for his timing and his provision. But God really.... it cannot come ANY SOONER!!!